So I haven’t been feeling myself lately. Been having back pains for almost 3weeks now. Struggling to get up everyday hoping the pain wouldn’t come back but who am I kidding, it is going to come back until we find out the root cause of the pain which means I still have to go to the hospital to see Dr. Gandhi and do the bloody MRI. Then only we can decide what to do next.
When I told him how I feel it didn’t seem like he accepted it how I thought he would as a husband but then again men being men right. They only would try to understand if it is important to them. He said things that hurt me a lot and made me even feel worse about myself in which is not at all helping.
I feel like I have not been a good partner, wife, mother, friend or even a sister. Its like I’m useless. I hate feeling that I am because I know I has achieved soo much and I have improved in many ways I couldn’t see myself doing before I got married. I know how to cook now and I am good at it! I can bake and I love doing so! I have 3 beautiful children who drives my blood pressure up up and away but that is okay cause I love them so much! I know how to do laundry, fold clothes, clean the house basically all the house chores, I am able to do it!
So I’m going to try something..
I am going to keep journaling as frequent as possible so that I will not let it get it me. I will let it slide. Well I know its hard but then.. I have to try something right? and this will be it.. to many more thought downloads and feelings..
I GOT THIS!